Daisy Chains
by YoBeezy
Summary: Lovino and Feliciano leave Vienna in the hopes of finding Antonio after six years of silence following a painful rejection. Led throughout Europe by a chain of old friendships Antonio has left behind, Lovino comes to understand love and loss and what it can drive a lonely person to do. AU.
1. Summer Will Always Be For You

Note: Hello, if you are new to me as a writer, let me start off with saying that while my stuff is of good quality, I'll completely disappoint you with infrequent updates. I'm pretty busy irl and writing, especially fanfiction, is something I only do when I'm in the mood to. While I appreciate anyone reading my material, expecting anything more than an update every 1-4 months is pointless (looking at you "update pls" readers).

This is a storyline I've had sitting around since 2013. It will contain no sexual material whatsoever. I've decided to give it an M rating mainly because of the sensitive age difference prevalent throughout parts of this story. While scenes involving a minor are depicted in a romantic light, it will be one-sided and explored through a lens of naivete and someone coping with abandonment. Any real romantic interests expressed are between consenting adults, fyi.

Thanks for reading.

* * *

"Summer will always be for you and you alone."

* * *

It was the gentle sweep of fingers across his damp cheek, the soft crooning of bittersweet last words into his hair, and the smell of wildflowers and cigarettes wafting through the summer air that marked the night Lovino last saw his dear city of Palencia.

"Hush, hush now Lovi," Antonio whispered, his voice was rough in the hollow of his throat in a way Lovino had never heard before. It was upsetting. "The world is not ending, not today."

"Maybe not for you, but what about for me?" Antonio pulled back, he could see he was running out of empty words of comfort. Lovino was so young, only fourteen at the time. A boy a little awkward with eyes too angry for a child, it didn't suit him, it never had. "Don't you care?"

And those words, they stung like salt in a fresh wound. "Of course I care."

"Then why are you doing this to me?!" Lovino's voice was rising in decibels, his small fists were curled up ready to strike and he pulled violently out of Antonio's grip. "You're just like the rest of them, I don't understand, what is so wrong with me that nobody wants me around?!"

Antonio could no longer sit quietly and pretend he couldn't see what was happening. He had been young once too and he understood, love happened unexpectedly and there were times when it didn't make sense. Young love was especially beautiful and he wouldn't want to take that away from anyone, but being the object of a teenage boy's affections was something he couldn't ignore. The last thing he wanted was for Lovino to be hurt, Antonio loved him too much to break his heart like that. Maybe one day Lovino could forgive him for his abandonment, maybe not. Either way, he wanted to do right by him. "There's nothing wrong with you," Antonio whispered, his hands relinquishing back to his sides. "You'll be better off with your brother, not me."

"I don't want my brother! I want you, I was happy here! It's my choice, I want to stay. Dammit, let me stay!"

"You can't. You have to go."

Lovino opened his mouth to say something but a fleeting realization behind his eyes stopped him and he sucked in whatever words he would have spilt. Those honey flushed eyes rolled to the side, holding onto the tears that had yet to sink down his face and he pulled his bag back up to his thin shoulder. "I'll never come back, not even if you beg me to."

"I know you won't."

"I..." Lovino bit at his pout, and he dared a glance into the soft eyes of the man before him. "I hate you," his shoulders hunched and he took to a steady pace back around the building. His train to Vienna would be leaving soon.

* * *

The small unimportant but entirely unavoidable truth of summer was that it always brought this conversation back into his mind. Lovino had become a nocturnal creature in his twentieth year, plagued with thoughts of yesteryear that kept him wide awake long after the moon reached her highest point in the sky. And even though he tried to make them go away, not a night would pass where he wouldn't be woken up by a bitter memory.

It had been six long years since he last saw his city. Sometimes he wondered if any of that had been real. Sometimes it felt like he'd only been there in dreams. Back then, with him. It seemed too good to be anything other than fiction.

Lovino sat up in bed, he didn't know how much longer he could do this. His stomach hurt with these miserable pains, his chest pulled and ached in ways he thought he would have been accustomed to by now, so why wasn't he? Six long years he'd endured this, why was it still so difficult to understand? He pulled a box of matches from his bedside table and took a cigarette out from a small tarnished bowl beside his lamp. The wood floor was cold beneath his bare feet but he paid no attention as he crossed the room towards the open window. With an irritated flourish he lit his cigarette and threw the shaken match out into the courtyard.

Antonio. Antonio. Antonio.

That man seemed to be all Lovino could think of, especially this season. What was it that struck him so hard about this one person? It was true that at one point Lovino had thought very highly of the Spaniard, but since the day Antonio chose to send him away, like nearly every person cursed to enter Lovino's life would, he had become just another dog eared page in a growing book of people who had only managed to disappoint Lovino. So why keep holding onto the past like he was? And more importantly, he pondered as he took a slow drag, how was he ever going to get a full night's rest again?

To his left, in the bed that was closest to the wall, his brother slept with his mouth open and his arm carelessly thrown across his eyes. Feliciano had always been a heavy sleeper, which was the initial spark to an idea that had been sitting in the back of his mind for nearly three years now.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep that pushed him to act in such a way, but no matter, he took his cigarette, still loose between his lips and sat down at the desk across the room. He pulled a piece of paper from between two books and grabbed a pen and as it hovered over the wrinkled paper he realized he had no idea what to write. What do you say to someone who you had last told you hated? His pen drooped and he angrily put his cigarette out on the paper, what a stupid idea this had been.

And it left his main problem completely unsolved. No sleep would be had, ever again it seemed. And it hardly seemed fair. A small growl of frustration left Lovino's lips and he brushed away his cigarette, not minding the burn that had settled into the center of the paper. He fixed the pen over the paper and scrawled out in his worst handwriting,

 _I can't sleep anymore and it's all your fault. The least you could do is write me and let me know you're still alive. I'm not worried or anything but it would be nice to know you hadn't died in my absence. I still don't like you._

Not that it mattered to him or anything, but it seemed a fitting enough invitation to send to someone after a six year long absence. Or maybe not, he had never done this kind of thing before. But if it meant he'd be able to sleep again then this kind of obvious insight into his feelings would be a sacrifice worth making. And really, he was getting tired of being so tired.

* * *

The force of Lovino's yawn made his eyes water, and he tiredly wiped them away. His eyes began to droop and a small breath left his mouth like he was going to be lulled to sleep by the effects of the lazy afternoon drifting over the veranda.

Or so he would have liked to imagine until the splitting sound of a voice permanently set into falsetto called out to him from across the way. "Brother? Please, where are you?" Bleary eyed, Lovino looked up from beneath his lashes with a sharp frown on his face. He could see Feliciano looking back and forth over the courtyard, looking somewhat desperate to find his brother. Without answering, Lovino shrunk back down into his knees in hopes Feliciano would start looking elsewhere. Of course, being a grown man, he was a little more obvious than he thought. "Ah, Lovi! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"What is it?" Lovino grunted back.

"Mr. Edelstein wants us to go into the city today, he's made us a list."

"I don't feel like it." Childishly, Lovino turned away from his brother in his chair, closing his eyes and resting his head against his knees. "Can't you go without me?"

Slightly dispirited, Feliciano slunk back and frowned. "Don't you think it would be good for you to go? You haven't left the house in a while..."

"Because I haven't felt like leaving the stupid house!" He snapped back. Lovino's eyes shot wide open when the door behind him suddenly opened and the house keeper himself stood in the archway.

"Lovino, go with your brother, the exercise will be good for you." Roderich, the tall aristocratic man who owned the estate, crossed his arms as if it weren't a suggestion but rather an outright demand.

"Are you calling me fat?" Lovino asked nastily as he took a stand. "Not to mention, I'm too old to be bossed around like this you know."

Roderich looked unmoved. "Well, that may be true," he said crisply. "But Feliciano is still seventeen, and I know you don't like him going into the city by himself, you said so yourself-"

"Okay, I get it!" Lovino waved off the man's words and turned towards his brother with a sigh. If Feliciano knew Lovino had once mentioned he worried when his younger brother went off on his own he'd never hear the end of it. "Are we walking?"

"Oh, well I was thinking we'd take the bicycles out today," when Lovino didn't look impressed, Feliciano warmed him with a smile. "I even cleaned yours already, since you know, you haven't used it in a while."

"Just shut up," he breathed out. Lovino clambered down the steps and began walking towards the shop room on the other side of the house, "are you coming or what?" He didn't even have to turn around to know Feliciano was already running to keep up with him. This was going to be a tiresome day, he could already tell.

Vienna was a nice city, Lovino had always thought so. It was no Palencia, by far, but still it was comfortable enough to call home. The Edelstein estate was seated right on the edge of the city so technically they weren't within Vienna but the ride over only lasted about seven minutes, so it really didn't make much of a difference. It was all the same. The summer weather was warm, but not so much that his shirt would be sticking to his skin by the time they arrived at the store, and that too made him appreciate the city. "Mr. Edelstein gave me a few extra notes so that we could buy something for ourselves." Feliciano chimed in from beside him as they drifted into the center of the deserted street.

"I need an envelope then, we need to stop by the post office."

"Who are you sending a letter to?"

"No one." Lovino wasn't in a bad mood, the easy currents of the summer's breeze were much too relaxing for him to be annoyed or irritated by anything, and because of that, his words came out sounding more regretful than he had intended. Feliciano stared but quickly regained himself, understanding he shouldn't question further. But that didn't stop him from risking a small worried glance every few minutes, hoping Lovino wouldn't notice.

The older brother lowered his eyes, sinking into a familiar feeling, a mixture of embarrassment and insecurity. A small part of him hoped that this letter would be the trigger to opening the flood gates. That in his short casual words, Antonio would understand that a small part of Lovino was willing to allow him to slowly edge back into his life. But at the same time, Lovino knew that over the course of the last six years Antonio had not once tried to contact him. Maybe, as much as he didn't want to admit it, that meant that Antonio wasn't interested in him any longer. They might have had a lot of history together, but that's really all it was in perspective, just history.

Lovino took a deep breath and shook out his hair, he didn't need this now. Keep it simple, he reminded himself. Send the letter, if he replies, then okay. If he doesn't, then that's okay too and all it means is that Antonio was a bastard, like Lovino always had known he was. Nothing lost. "Feli?"

Feliciano pedaled a little harder, catching up to drift in towards Lovino's side. "Yeah?"

"How about a game of soccer when we get back? Loser does the laundry." Feliciano beamed, any bit of worry he had was now receding, of course Lovino was fine.

"Alright! But first person to the store gets first kick!" Feliciano pushed against his pedals, standing up against his bike he took off past Lovino.

"Hey! That's not fair, you damn cheater!" Lovino laughed and kicked off, trailing behind his brother, almost forgetting that there was even something to be bothered by.

* * *

"Do you even wear half of these?!" Lovino snapped, cradling an armful of wrinkled clothes he had picked up from the floor. He took a shirt from the top of the pile, sniffed it and then threw it as hard as he could at his brother's back. "That one's clean you idiot!"

"I wore it yesterday!" Feliciano whined back, slipping the shirt from his head. "Remember when I cleaned the floors, Mr. Edelstein made me put a shirt on!"

"That was for like twenty minutes, fold it, I'm not washing that one!" Feliciano looked down at his shirt before slowly folding it and placing it on his bed.

"I can help you know," Lovino shook his head.

"You can help me fold them, I said I'd do it." Before Feliciano could reply, Lovino was already leaving the room with all their clothes in his arms. Feliciano sighed, took his folded shirt from the bed and replaced it in the drawer. He looked around the room, it wasn't as clean as it could have been which meant that it was only a matter of time before Roderich saw and made them clean it. It was the least he could do. He started with Lovino's bed, pulling up the sheets until they were tight and straight and then moved to do his own. He wiped the dresser clean, rearranged the contents of the drawers until they were organized and then slipped over to the desk.

"Oh Lovi..," Feliciano murmured as he gingerly picked up the crushed cigarette that had been swept to the side of the desk. He threw it in the trash to his left before straightening up the books in the corner. A small corner from the edge of a paper caught his eye and he took it out from between two books. It was folded clumsily and looked like trash, but just to make sure, he opened it. Lovino's scrawl was easy to identify and Feliciano quickly scanned the words once, twice, until a frown formed on his face. There was no name on it but it didn't take long for realization to come to him. And suddenly, that wave of worry rushed over him, a deep resonating kind of concern that he hadn't felt in a long while.

He remembered when Lovino first came back home.

Roderich and himself, at the time he had only been twelve, stood in the train station. His hand was tight around Roderich's, anxious to see his brother whom he hadn't seen since they were both very young. Lovino was practically a stranger to him now and many anxious worries went through his mind. What if Lovino didn't like him? When they were smaller, Lovino was seven and Feliciano was five, they got along well enough. They played together like any other children would, but now was much different, Lovino was much older now with experiences and memories that didn't include Feliciano. "Mr. Edelstein?" Feliciano asked quietly.

"What is it?"

"Do you think brother will be happy to see me again?" The man cast his dark eyes down curiously at Feliciano, the usually bright and happy child suddenly seemed quiet and gloomy. It was unlike him.

"Why not? You are his younger brother after all."

"But what if he's not? He hasn't talked to me in a long time."

"You should not worry Feliciano," Roderich said gently. "Even if it takes some time for Lovino and yourself to reacquaint with each other, I'm sure that he will be happy to have you there for him. Just be patient. He always did have a difficult personality." Feliciano gave a weak nod but reverted his eyes to the empty track. Any minute now the train was due to arrive.

The wait seemed to take forever, Feliciano shifted nervously back and forth, squeezing and unsqueezing Roderich's hand. When the train could be seen in the distance, the young boy let go and stepped in closer for a better look. He didn't know quite what to expect, maybe after such a long ride Lovino was bound to be a little tired and sore. However, what he was greeted with was far from what he imagined.

Lovino stepped off the train baring a single bag on his shoulder. His eyes darted left and right through the crowd until they settled on the young boy that stood only a few steps ahead of him. "Brother?" Feliciano asked quietly. Of course, there had been no mistaking him. Lovino was only a bit taller than him, his hair only a few shades darker, but his face was comfortably close to what Feliciano saw in the mirror. A smile split across his face and he couldn't contain himself. "Brother, welcome home!" Feliciano darted forward, his arms wrapping tight around the older boy's waist. Judging by the gasp that fell from Lovino's mouth he had caught him off guard.

"Oh," Lovino looked down curiously at his brother, blinked and then looked up, meeting the gaze of the man he'd be living with from now on. And suddenly, things began to blur. He could hear the commotion of the crowds around him, feel the tightening grip of Feliciano around his waist, but none of it was making sense. There was only one thing that stood out in his mind, and that was miles and miles away in a different city.

"L-Lovi?" Feliciano shrank back, he looked up at Lovino and his eyes widened in fear. "W-what's wrong? Lovi, why are you crying?" Lovino brought his small fists up to his eyes and it became impossible to hold back any longer. He buckled to his knees and began sobbing so loudly people were beginning to stare. Feliciano stumbled a half-step back, worried that he had done or said something to hurt his brother. Roderich came rushing past him and Feliciano stood there helpless, watching as his brother struggled against Roderich's touch.

 _Lovino doesn't want to be here,_ Feliciano thought with a pang of grief in his chest. And in ways, that was worse than Lovino not liking him. Feliciano might not have known his brother as well as he would have liked, but that didn't stop him from wanting Lovino to be happy.

Even after a week of adjusting, it seemed like Lovino would never stop crying. He did it in his sleep, when he excused himself to the bathroom during dinner, during afternoon chores. It took Feliciano almost the whole month to figure out what had happened.

"That boy, Mr. Edelstein, aren't you being too hard on him?" Elizaveta asked while she cleaned the china, she looked up with her eyebrows pushed together.

Roderich stood by the window watching the young boy pull weeds. Lovino was slow and every now and then he would stop and it appeared he would be crying again, but he always tried to pull himself together. "He needs something to distract himself with, don't you think he'd be feeling a lot worse if he had only his own company?"

"But what about little Feli? It might do Lovino good to spend some time with his brother," she scoffed and set the china down a little harder than she should have. "I don't like seeing the children so sad, it's not right. That poor boy." Elizaveta placed a hand to her head and turned in frustration towards Roderich. "Have you tried to reach Antonio?"

The Austrian turned from the window, "we spoke when arrangements were first made, he didn't have much to say on the matter."

"But he was okay with just abandoning this boy? Look at him, he's tearing himself up over it. Lovi loved Antonio, I don't know," she sighed. "It just doesn't seem like something Antonio would do, does it?"

"I can't say. Antonio has always been difficult to understand. I'm sure he had his reasons though."

Elizaveta tightened her mouth, unimpressed, but took back to the china wordlessly.

Feliciano sat crouched outside the sitting room while he eavesdropped, his were eyes down and his mouth was set into a small, watery frown. It made sense, Lovino had been hurt by the person he had loved the most. Feliciano never felt very close to Mr. Edelstein, not like how Lovino must have felt toward Antonio if it was enough to make Lovino cry like he was, but it was something Feliciano was going to try hard to understand. For his brother's sake.

A string of half-hearted insults from the hallway took Feliciano from his thoughts. He quickly jammed the already crumpled piece of paper back in-between the books and threw himself back towards the bed. He was scrambling to get on it when the door opened. "Feli, I'm really tired," Lovino said as he strode in, not even sparing a glance at his brother who was looking so openly guilty. "You think you can finish up for me?"

"Did you already wash them?" Feliciano asked.

"I put them in the water with some soap. So, almost." Lovino crawled onto his bed and stretched out, he shut his eyes and nuzzled into his arm. "It's just so warm out and the smell of the soap is giving me a headache."

Feliciano rolled over and slowly pulled himself upright. "Oh, okay. Feel better." He spared one last long glance at his older brother before leaving the room.

As Lovino lay there listening to Feliciano's footsteps get farther and farther away, the boy sat up, slid off his bed and made towards the desk. In a small paper bag he pulled from it a small tan colored envelope and wrote the address as he remembered it. Somewhere in the drawers he knew there were some leftover stamps from last season's Christmas cards and he dug for them noisily until he pulled out two mangled ones. He put them on crooked, hardly caring for his hands were beginning to shake. "Okay bastard," he said to himself as he pulled his letter from the books. "If you know what's good for you, you'll write me back." Jamming it into the envelope, he licked the seal and forced it into his pocket.

It was almost too easy dropping it into the mailbox. He expected some kind of resistance on his own behalf, pulling away or wanting to rip up the letter, but instead he let it go and walked away. His nerves were there but it wasn't how he had expected to feel. A part of him really didn't expect Antonio to write back, but then there was another part that felt like this was going to be the moment that changed everything. He was a lot older now, capable of making adult decisions. Antonio had to realize that by now too and maybe it would remind him of how things could be. For both of them.

In the meantime, he could wait just a little while longer. A playful humming drifted from around the back patio and Lovino gravitated towards the sound as he approached the estate. Feliciano worked on his knees, looking as dreamy as ever as he worked the laundry Lovino had left him with. _That idiot,_ Lovino thought affectionately. "It's quiet out here," he said as he approached Feliciano. The younger boy looked up from the basin, blinked in the bright sunlight and then gave a small smile.

"A bit. Want to sit with me?"

"Sure," Lovino replied as he laid down on the grass to stretch out besides his brother. He pulled his shirt up above his stomach and let his arm rest atop his closed eyes. "But I'm not helping you clean these."

"Okay," Feliciano said back cheerily. It didn't matter, he was just happy to have his brother close by anyways.


	2. I'm Certain You Knew

ii. I'm certain you knew what I was trying to say.

* * *

Lovino hadn't always been such a bitter child. When his grandfather was still alive Lovino laughed more, was kinder. He cherished his younger brother and despite his general lack of talents, was optimistic in all of his efforts. But that all seemed to disappear after the death of his grandfather, an event that left his brother and himself orphaned. Lovino was six and Feliciano barely four when a large black car pulled up in front of the orphanage and took them away to a large estate outside of Vienna. The heir of the estate, a sullen looking young man around the age of twenty, greeted them at the door and showed them to their shared room. Lovino wouldn't find out until many years later that his grandfather once saved the life of Roderich's father during the war. When he'd heard of the young boys being left behind in the wake of their grandfather's death, he extended his home to them. They stayed in the maid quarters where they found themselves in the care of a young maid named Elizaveta, a seventeen year old girl from Hungary. Lovino wasn't smitten with her like Feliciano was, but she was nice enough.

But adjusting to his new life proved difficult and his limited amount of emotional control began to waver.

Roderich's hand swayed in graceful motions over the ivory keys, he shut his eyes and leaned forward until his glasses balanced on the tip of his nose. The music itself was rich and fluid and he could get lost in it if he let himself. A startling crash down the hall forced his finger down onto the wrong key and his eyes snapped open. He was still for a moment, waiting for the part that usually followed such a disruption.

"I don't want to do it, you can't make me!" A small voice yelled out with tremendous force and anger. Another startling crash of glass against marble floors reverberated throughout the floor. Roderich pushed his glasses up angrily, standing and swinging his leg over the bench, he stormed towards the door. As he entered the hall, a frightened young boy came stumbling out of an open door. His face was red and tear-streaked. Roderich knelt down and the five-year old came to him as he had done so time and time before.

"Shh, you're alright Feli. It's going to be alright." He brushed the hair from the child's eyes and then stood, taking the boy to his hip. In the open room, Lovino was shrieking again. "Get away from me you nasty witch!"

Roderich rounded the corner and Elizaveta turned on her heel, she looked pale and exhausted. "Oh, Mr. Edelstein! I'm so very sorry to have disturbed you, it's Lovino, he won't do his chores and he's throwing a tantrum again-"

"Take him," Roderich said stiffly as he pushed Feliciano towards her. She quickly took the child and Roderich focused his attention on the small demon ahead. Lovino was breathing heavily, his face too was red and tear-streaked, but unlike his brother there was no fear in his face, only rage. "Lovino, how many times do you have to be told not to break things when you're upset?"

"I'll break whatever I want, I don't need to listen to you or to her or to anyone else!" The young boy bit out. His small hands were tightening and unfurling over and over again, as if he were desperate to strike something else. Roderich looked around at the floor and the broken shards of an old glass plate that his family had sat on display for at least three generations now. He wasn't attached to the heirloom but seeing it so carelessly thrown to the floor by a child was too much.

"Now listen here," the young heir snapped. He stood up straight and brushed his hair back in frustration. "You're going to go on time out and you're going to think about your wrongdoings."

"To hell with you and your timeout," the child glared up at the man and then spat on the floor, wiping his mouth afterwards with the back of his hand. Roderich, slightly shocked by such vulgar behavior, felt far outside of his element. This must have been the reaction Lovino was looking for as he grinned upwards. Elizaveta couldn't take any more of this. She strode forward and pushed Feliciano back into Roderich's arms, snatching at Lovino's wrist before the boy could wise up and make a run for it.

"What a rotten child you are being Lovino, disrespecting Mr. Edelstein like that!" Lovino lost all confidence and began to cry. Roderich slumped against the wall and let out a sigh of relief, the worst of it had passed. While Elizaveta marched Lovino off to his room, Roderich set the younger brother down and then rubbed at his temples. While he never was one to question his father's actions, he couldn't help but wonder if it were his father standing in his place dealing with the troubled child, would he consider it worth it? "Feliciano," Roderich looked down at the trembling child. "Why don't you go wash up for lunch, it's around that time. And watch out, there's glass on the floor." He took the broom from the corner of the room and quietly began to clean the mess Lovino had left behind.

When Elizaveta returned, she placed a gentle hand on Roderich's shoulder. "Mr. Edelstein, let me finish this." She found it endearing that at twenty-one years old, the young master still had such a difficult time with common household chores. He tried, but he was not too good with it. He looked relieved as he handed it back to her.

"How is he?" Roderich asked, taking a small handkerchief from his breast pocket and rubbing the lenses of his glasses with it. Elizaveta shrugged but looked grim.

"He's upset. It's been a hard week for him, I think. Little Feli's been receiving a lot of praise lately and I think it might be making Lovi jealous."

Roderich huffed, "what an insignificant thing to throw a tantrum over. He cannot be allowed to keep doing whatever he pleases, by the time he's eighteen he'll have destroyed the entire estate. If my father only knew half of what was happening, he wouldn't stand for it."

"I agree," Elizaveta replied sadly. She bent down with the dust pan. "To be completely honest, I don't know what else can be done for him, he seems determined to test the limits."

"Determined feels like an understatement," he said dryly. "But I don't think we've run out of options. There is something that might be worth considering." Elizaveta bit at her lip, she suddenly felt tired.

"But wouldn't that be cruel, sir?" She asked carefully. Roderich regarded her quietly as she worked stiffly to sweep the last remaining bits of glass dust from the floor. "All those boys have left are each other."

"Maybe, but it's not my job to raise this child, nor is it yours, Eliza. Will you still feel so sorry for him once he's grown? We must consider what will be best for both of them, in the long run." Elizaveta didn't reply. Not because she disagreed, but because she felt guilty admitting Roderich in all of his inexperience was right.

It was only three months later that Roderich's father fell ill and within six weeks, Roderich found himself head of the entire estate. His workload had tripled and Lovino's volatile nature was only getting worse. He took it upon himself to write a letter to an old contact of his and when he received a reply, he called Elizaveta into his study. "I think I've found a solution," he began, holding the letter out for Elizaveta to read. She took it curiously and read it over. "Antonio was a young man who I met during my stay in Spain when I was fifteen and studying abroad. To be honest, him and I have very little in common, but he's one of those people who are friends with everyone they meet. We've stayed in contact throughout the years, oddly enough. I'd remembered last year he spoke about a home for boys he was working at out near Madrid and I thought it wouldn't hurt to maybe ask for some advice on the matter."

"But this says he'll take him," Elizaveta said quietly, lowering the letter with a deeply concerned look upon her face.

"Well yes, that was largely unexpected. I wrote him strictly seeking advice and well, he seemed to think Lovino would benefit more with a different environment." He searched Elizaveta's face hopefully, frowning when she refused to look at him. "You don't like it," he said flatly.

"What if Lovino feels like we're getting rid of him? Won't that do more harm than good?"

"I'm not an expert on the matter but frankly I don't believe we're doing him much good right now." She looked conflicted but hugged the letter closer to her chest.

"And this man, you trust him?"

"As much as I can, I do believe he's a good man and only wants to help." She folded the letter and handed it back. He could tell his words weren't quite enough to comfort her. "Eliza, it's not like he won't be able to come back." Roderich reached out to her, "you will see him again I promise. I'll let him know he can still call this place home."

"Thank you," she breathed out, "he'll need that."

* * *

"I don't want to go to stupid Spain," Lovino said snidely. He walked obstinately with his arms crossed tightly in front of his body and his mouth a small, frustrated line.

"Think of it like a holiday," Elizaveta said happily, one hand carrying a map and the other leading young Feliciano by the hand.

"And what about my stupid brother, why isn't he coming with me?"

"Don't call him stupid, Lovino," Elizaveta warned, shaking the map at him. "And he's going to stay here, with me. But we will write you every day if you want." She expected another rude remark from the boy but was surprised to find he'd gone silent. She stopped walking and looked down, Lovino was watching her with a guilty expression. "What is it?"

"You don't have to write me every day," he said quietly, looking embarrassed. "Maybe like once a week. If it's a holiday, I might be too busy to write back y'know." He kicked at the ground and Elizaveta smiled, for the first time feeling like maybe Roderich was right, this could be a good thing for him.

"We'll figure that out later, come on, you're going to miss your train." She took his hand and even though he complained, he jotted after her as she moved towards the station. When they reached the platform they'd been looking for, it was already boarding. "Okay Lovi, here's your ticket. Antonio is going to meet you at the other station so you won't have to worry about that. Keep your jacket on and don't lose your bag! Mr. Edelstein will be mailing the rest of your belongings out within the week, that's a promise." Lovino looked a little dazed as he looked around, maybe there was a flash of fear for the first time.

"Brother," Feliciano's small voice filtered in through the noise and caught Lovino's attention. Despite knowing he'd be leaving for two weeks, he hadn't made much effort to spend any extra time with his brother, in fact, leaving him behind had only felt frustrating and it made Lovino react with hostility most of the time Feliciano was around. But seeing his younger brother standing there, looking afraid and confused, made Lovino feel a huge part of himself suddenly seize with regret. Lovino took a deep breath and then pulled Feliciano close to him. He nuzzled against his brother's baby soft hair and breathed it in.

"Don't worry Feli, I'll see you soon." He pulled his brother back to arm's length and grinned, trying to instill some sort of confidence onto the child who looked like he was about to cry. "While I'm gone, give that rich bastard a hard time, will you?"

"Lovino, watch you mouth!" Elizaveta swatted him with the map but it only made Lovino giggle. "Okay, it's really time to get going though. But first, come here you wicked boy." Lovino went stiff as Elizaveta pulled him in tightly. She sounded like she too was going to cry. "Make sure to write us and let us know you made it okay, and eat more vegetables, wash your hands and brush your teeth, okay? We are all going to miss you very much, Lovi."

Awkwardly, he placed a small hand on her back. "Er, thanks." He finally managed, albeit with some discomfort. She pulled back and huffed, but that was just like him.

Lovino watched from the train window as Elizaveta waved goodbye and Feliciano cried, waving a weak little hand as he did so. It filled Lovino with a strange feeling, something warm but also uncomfortable. When the train began to move he slumped in his seat so that they were beyond his vision. He'd seen enough.

The train ride was nearly eight hours long and after he'd gotten tired of watching the scenery blur past his window, he bundled up his jacket under his head and slept until the train crept into the station. Lovino woke slowly, blinking his eyes open as patrons of the train moved to exit. He waited somberly until almost everyone had exited before he stood and gathered his belongings. The station he stepped into wasn't as populated as he would have thought and before the fear of being stranded in such a place alone could disturb him, he caught sight of a cheerful looking young man waving to him from across the way. Lovino looked around to make sure the idiot was waving at him and not someone else.

"Lovino! Is that right?" The man asked as he sprinted up. "My name is Antonio, I'm very pleased to meet you!" He held out a hand, a gesture Lovino stared at unimpressed. "Er," the young man dropped his hand and then rubbed his neck with a laugh. "All right, too soon, I get it. You must be tired, should we go?" Lovino wanted to be difficult but it was true, he was tired, despite having slept the majority of the way. He considered the question for a moment before grunting and nodding his head. The man breamed so brightly Lovino had to look away.

They walked side by side through the station without speaking. Lovino looked on while Antonio stole a peek at the child every few moments, something that Lovino was beginning to feel on his neck like a prickle. "Why do you keep looking at me like that, are you some kind of pervert?" Lovino spoke for the first time and to Antonio's horror, quite loudly.

"What?! No, no, it's not like that at all." Antonio gave a nervous laugh. "You shouldn't say stuff like that, people will get the wrong idea."

"Well if you don't want to be called a pervert stop acting like one," Lovino barked. "I don't even know you and I'm just a kid, if people are getting the wrong idea then it's all your fault."

"Hm, they said you were a handful," Antonio mused out loud, "they also said you tend to get pretty mouthy when you're hungry." Lovino wanted to say something rude but stopped when Antonio laughed and knelt down to the ground in front of him. "Tell you what, we won't say or do anything else until we get some food, how's that sound?" Lovino grew red in the face and stepped back, the idiot was being so polite Lovino felt like retorting with anything but an agreement would be wasted. Not to mention, now that it had been said out loud, he was feeling quite starved. Lovino gave a stiff nod and watched the man curiously as he bounced back happily and led the way out of the station.

True to his word, Antonio didn't say or even look down at Lovino until they came upon a small archway in a tan brick wall along the road. The man stopped and Lovino looked at the door curiously. "What is this place?"

Antonio opened the door and waited for Lovino to step inside. "This place is a favorite of mine. I don't know what they've been feeding you out in Austria, but I promise this will be better." Lovino was beginning to feel annoyed by Antonio's confidence and he looked around the place plainly. It was a hole-in-the-wall place, dimly lit and a little crowded, but it did smell good and Lovino was feeling so hungry he hardly cared where he was.

They found a table and Antonio sat across from him. "Do they have pasta?" Lovino asked.

"Pasta? No, not here, but don't worry about it, I think they'll have something even you might like." Lovino was too tired to argue and he sighed, resting his head on his folded arms as Antonio waved a waiter over. After he'd ordered, Antonio sat and regarded Lovino quietly. Feeling that familiar prickle on his head, the seven-year old glared over and returned the study. "Sorry, I don't mean to stare," Antonio said genuinely, he turned his attention to the glass of water in front of him instead.

"Hey, I've got a few questions," Lovino finally said. Antonio perked up but was careful not to be too eager. He wanted Lovino to talk to him, but also didn't want to leave a bad first impression, something that seemed impossible to avoid at this point. "First, how old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen, last month." Lovino frowned and turned away.

"And you're a friend of Mr. Edelstein's?"

"Something like that," Antonio said happily. But judging by the look on Lovino's face, something more serious than had been there a moment before, that wasn't the right answer. "Well, maybe friend is a strong word," he corrected. "We know each other but not very well."

"I hate that guy," Lovino said quietly. "Stupid rich bastard, thinks he's the boss of me and my brother just because he's got all that money. I can't stand him. Are you like that too?" To his surprise, Antonio laughed.

"No, I don't think so. But I'll let you make your own decision on that." Lovino sat up straight and serious.

"Then will you tell me why the hell I had to come all the way out to stupid Spain all by myself?" There was a severe look on Lovino's young face, it didn't suit him in the slightest and it made Antonio feel deeply sorry. It was as if no one had ever been honest with the kid and he knew it, and because of it he'd grown up distrusting those around him. He remembered when he himself was a child and how it felt like no one around him would give him the answers he was looking for, it _was_ frustrating, he understood. Yet, honesty typically wasn't the first priority in cases like these, understandably so. Antonio could only do what he felt he would have wanted. He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair and sighed.

"You want to know the truth?" He asked, Lovino looked taken aback but engaged. Weakly, he nodded. "You're going to a boy's home where you'll be living from now on." Antonio leaned his face into his palm and continued. "From what I understand, Roderich felt like you were having too hard of a time out there. He didn't think you were happy. So he contacted me asking for help and I suggested you come out here for a while. For a change in scenery, if you will."

"A boy's home?" Lovino echoed. "Like, for orphans?"

"Exactly that. Most of the other kids there are orphans, abandoned, or homeless. While I understand your only living relative is your brother, you do at least still have a home to go back to in Vienna, unlike the others. So keep that in mind."

The boy slumped back into his seat and looked off, his heated features melting into one of indifference. Like somehow he'd already known all of this. Antonio wondered if maybe he'd been too frank with the boy, after all, he hardly remembered what the thought process of a seven year old boy looked like. "It doesn't matter to me," Lovino mumbled into his hand.

"I'm sorry?" Antonio hadn't quite caught what he'd said.

Frustrated and hungry, Lovino slapped his hand to the table. "I said it doesn't matter to me! Vienna doesn't feel like a home to me so wherever I am it doesn't matter." Antonio was beginning to feel like he'd opened a bigger issue than he'd wanted to but luckily, Lovino's waspish attitude lifted the moment food was placed in front of him. The boy's face lit up in a way Antonio wouldn't have anticipated, it made the whole experience feel very fleeting. "What is this?"

"Paella, try it."

They ate in silence but it was comfortable, Lovino had let his guard down freely if not just to eat with such unrestrained enthusiasm. By the end of it, the small boy groaned as they walked down the street towards the parking lot. "Why did you let me eat so much?" He pouted as he cradled his stomach. "I feel pretty sick, you know."

"I did tell you to slow down," Antonio reminded him. He pulled the keys from his pocket and pointed to a worn-out looking car. "We'll be at the home in fifteen minutes, can you do that?"

"I don't know, maybe," Lovino mumbled. He laid down across the backseat while his bag, that Antonio had wound up carrying, rode up front. As they drove in silence, save for the quiet murmur of the radio and the hum of the car, Lovino watched the streetlights swing past the car. It must have been past nine o'clock by now, he wondered if Feliciano was going to be able to sleep without him in the room. The big baby, probably not. "Hey, Antonio?"

"Huh?"

"Do you work at this place?"

"Technically," Antonio shrugged. "I also spent a lot of my childhood there. I've only just come back this year. It's been sort of like coming home you could say. I live there now but I also work there."

"Did you like it?"

The honest answer would have been no, he did not like it. It was why he'd ran away at fourteen. The brutally honest answer would have been no, he hated it and the only reason he was back was because he needed money and a place to sleep until he could leave again. He understood this was one of those times honesty was not advised. "It got me through some very difficult times, yes." Well, it was a sort of truth. He was trying.

Lovino thought about this and turned his attention back towards the window. It was an answer he found difficult to understand.

The car came to a rolling stop some time after. "We're here," Antonio said as he grabbed Lovino's bag and opened the backseat door. Lovino pushed himself from the car and looked around. He scrunched up his nose. "It looks pretty not good."

"Well it's no private estate in Austria, that's for sure." Lovino looked both insulted and impressed but decided it wasn't worth commenting on, he'd let him have that one. The boy followed Antonio through a pair of doors into a cold hallway with no lights on. "Right, so you're going to be in a room on the second floor, your roommate is a really nice kid, his name is David and he's-"

"What did you just say?" Lovino had stopped dead in his tracks and looked livid.

"What?"

"You said roommate,"

"I did, something wrong with that?"

"Yeah, idiot, I don't want a roommate. No one said anything about a roommate." Antonio turned and slumped the bag to the floor.

"Well I thought that was kind of obvious-"

"Do you have a roommate?"

"Me? Well, no, but that's different, I'm staff." Lovino stepped over to Antonio and snatched his bag back.

"Let me stay in your room," Lovino demanded. Antonio stumbled over his words and then laughed, shaking his head.

"I can't do that, I'm sorry kid."

"And why not?" Lovino's voice grew a little louder and Antonio panicked a little. He was already late bringing Lovino in as it was, if the kid went and woke the whole place up he'd really be in for it.

"Shh, please Lovino, it's late. Now look, it wouldn't be fair to the other kids if I let you stay in my room. One, because, well I shouldn't really say this but it is a lot nicer than the other rooms. But I did my time, you know, so that part is fair." Lovino looked unimpressed. "Second," before Antonio could come up with another excuse, Lovino hitched his bag up and turned back out the door.

Antonio was fast, he'd give him that. "Hey, wait, what are you doing? You can't be out here, it's dangerous at night."

"If you don't let me stay in your room then I'm not going to stay here. I'll walk back home."

"Oh come on,"

"No!" Lovino came to a sudden halt, spinning around and pointing an accusatory finger. "You come on. No one said anything about roommates and if that's how it's going to be then I'd rather go back home, whether they want me to or not, I don't care what they think!" At some point in his angry diatribe, Lovino had started to cry. By the end of it he was shrinking to the ground, rubbing at his eyes hoping it would stop. But it didn't, it never did.

Antonio wilted, feeling guilty and insensitive. "I'm sorry Lovino," he sighed and then crouched down to his level. "You're right, I should have said something. I'm sorry. I can't promise you can keep staying in there but what if you sleep in my room until you're more comfortable?"

Lovino sniffed and glared over his hands. "Fine," he relented and then took a shuddering post-cry breath. Antonio stood and shook his head, kids like Lovino were more difficult than others, but they could be rewarding too. Lovino could learn to trust, he just needed a little more patience than most were willing to give. He felt relieved and happy also that he was able to bring the boy a little comfort in such a strange and tumultuous time. He knew personally how it felt to be on the receiving end of such kindness.

"Great, so let's get out of the grass before you catch a cold," he offered out his hand and cringed when the boy's dirty wet hand touched his.

"That's not how you catch a cold, idiot."

"Okay, but can you stop calling me that?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'll try."


End file.
